Blob goes to soccer

My kids play soccer. I’m not all together sure how I feel about it. It would be easy for me to simply say that I don’t like soccer. Isn’t that what guys who played football say? The truth is I don’t really understand the game. I mean I know the basic rules of soccer and get the over-all objective. But at the end of the day it still just seems like a whole lot of running and kicking and a whole lot of not scoring. But what the heck, the kids like it, they are pretty good at it and it keeps them from watching the TV. As long as my daughter keeps her shirt on after she scores and my boy doesn’t grow out his hair and throw on a head band, then I’m in…kick and run away.

So last Saturday we arrived at the field at 7:30…the 7:30 that happens in the morning. Did I mention it was Saturday and that the field was not next door or even in our town? Probably also a good time to mention that it was raining. Not Biblical flood raining (although I was sure I spotted a pair of out of place llamas) but raining pretty dang hard. Who cares?! This is Oregon and this is how we like it. So we settle in to our seats and prepare to enjoy our daughter’s game.

The game starts and I do what any awesome soccer parent does...I cheer. Loudly. And a lot. I am showing off my new soccer vocabulary by yelling things like “push up” and “up the line”. I am even sure that I said most of those things at the appropriate time. Admittedly, most of the vocalization was directed, as you might assume, at my daughter. A little extra coaching never hurt. She is, after all, only 9 so of course she needs me to tell her where to be and what to do every minute of the soccer game.

Then she scored. I was happy. And proud.

Then I got this strange feeling.

You know that feeling you had after your first kiss? Or on the first day of summer? Or when you walked out to the tree on Christmas morning? I know, awesome, right?

Well this was the opposite of that.

I was now painfully aware that my cheering had little to do with my daughter. This was all about me. This was about me wanting…no…needing my kid to be the best on the field. Suddenly the family rules about sports, which are “work hard and have fun” were replaced with “be the best and score more goals”. I mean how would it look if somebody else’s kid scores more goals than mine? Or had a better game than mine? I need somebody to tell me how great she is because that must mean I am great too right?...right?

Ugh.

Blob.

I did not invite Blob to the game but here he was doing what he does best…making everything about him. Blob’s ability to taint and tarnish the beautiful and sublime is maddening! Blob is not always about inactivity. Often Blob is about twisting motivation. I mean isn’t cheering for kids a Captain Awesome activity? Well, when we do it for selfish motives, it is actually pretty stinky.

This blog will likely spend plenty of time on kids and sports and the parents that screw it all up but for now let’s keep it simple.

Enjoy watching your kids play. Cheer them on. A lot. Encourage them. Loud is great when it happens for the right reason. Be proud of them without condition…and for the love of Pete…tell them! Love the heck out of them if they hit a homer or strike out. Be their biggest fan. Don’t count their goals, or points or errors. Sit in the rain on an early Saturday morning and go crazy over the fact that your kid…YOUR KID is on the field having a ball.

That my friends, is Awesome.

Awesome is...

I figured the next rational step was to try to better define the two sides of this battle. I am not attempting to create the 10 Commandments of Awesomeness or the 7 Deadly Sins of Blob. I just want to create a general theme. I’m no expert so hopefully we can do this together.

This all started for me when I realized I had put on a “few” pounds. It occurred to me that even with all the health, nutrition and fitness knowledge that I have, I simply chose the wrong path. I saw two sides of me. There was a whole bunch of internal dialogue going on…mostly arguments. Yes this is the proverbial battle of good versus evil, flesh versus spirit and a dozen other ways to describe it. That all seemed awfully heavy so I figured a Super Hero vs. Super Villain might be way more fun.

The irony is that I initially set out to do a daily blog about getting back in shape and improving my overall health but Blob helped me procrastinate long enough that it was no longer relevant. Fact is though; this Awesome-Blob battle is in all phases of our life so Blob actually did one thing right!

First of all this is not gender specific. I chose Captain Awesome because I’m a dude and when I think of being called Captain Awesome I actually hear super hero music and I want to save someone. I will use “he” and “him” most of the time. Ladies, feel free to use “she” and her and use names like Queen Awesome, Her Awesomeness or Sheera, Warrior Princess of the land of Awesome, whatever. Make it your own dawg.

The Blob came about because that is what I felt like: A big ol’ blob with no motivation and no real interest in finding any. But I am super creative and came up with Boring Lazy Overeater Boy. Worked for me. That’s what I was at the time. Create your own super creative name or just go with Blob. I don’t think it is a big leap to seeing Blob as a negative thing. Just sounds sucky. Blob. See what I mean?

So here goes.

Awesome has a heart for others. Blob wants his.

Awesome wants great things for you. Blob wants great things for you too, but wants to take credit for them.

Awesome does all kinds of cool things. Not because he has super spy skills but because he is willing to ask how things are done. He is confident enough to say “That is so cool. I want to try, show me how to do it!”
Blob sits on the sidelines of life too prideful to ask for help.

Awesome sees a donut and says, “I love donuts but they are bad for me. Maybe an apple instead.”
Blob sees a donut and says, well, nothing because even Blob doesn’t talk with his mouth full.

Awesome helps push the stalled car out of the road while Blob honks at you to get out of the way.
Awesome is the person you call at 2:00am in an emergency. Blob is on nobody’s speed dial.

Awesome blows it all the time. Then he steps up, takes responsibility, says he’s sorry and makes it right. Blob blows it all the time too, but he blames you for it.

Awesome honestly considers your suggestions because he truly wants to grow. Blob just gets angry. After all, who are you to tell him what to do?

Blob isn’t interested in you…unless he can benefit from you.

Blob hates.

Awesome’s wife never has to ask if she looks pretty because he beats her to the question. She never wonders if he appreciates her, he shows her all the time. Awesome’s husband feels respected and needed. Awesome’s kids don’t need to beg someone to play with them. They have been Candy Landed, army guyed and tea partied out. Blob creates excuses and finds ways out of the games.

Awesome does what he said he would, when he said he would because it is important to someone.

Awesome refuses to let you be less than awesome.

Blob builds traps then builds walls. Blob won’t let you out.

Awesome’s kids are confident and secure. Not in what they can do but in who they are.
Awesome can cry.
Awesome loves to laugh.
Awesome knows how to work hard.
Awesome knows how to unplug.
Awesome wants to be someone’s hero.

You see, Awesome is not about ripped abs or great hair. It isn’t about a cool car or a high profile job. It isn’t about your smarts or your looks. Your “stuff” has very little to do with your awesomeness.

Awesome is found in the heart. It is found in the motivation to live life in a way that makes a difference. Awesome chooses to not settle and it won’t let friends settle either. Awesome knows how to care for self AND others. Awesome gives what it can asking nothing in return.

Awesome is a life lived for others.


Ya…I like that.


These are just some random thoughts scattered on a silly blog.

Now it is your turn. Tell me what you think Awesome is.

And so it begins....

Warning: Sarcasm lives here!

Why on earth am I starting a blog?

Well, I have this problem.

See, I really want to be awesome. In the "Wow, I wish I was like him" or “Gosh he sure seems to have it all together” sort of way. I even tried to adopt the name Captain Awesome from that, well, awesome dude on the TV show Chuck. I know only 4 or 5 of you watch that show like I do so let me fill you in. The main character on the show is named....wait for it....Chuck. He was just a regular dude. Well, not exactly just a regular dude because he is a genius. I mean a real one. Like Will Hunting without all the F-Bombs. But, some woman wrecked his life (typical) and he was just floating along working as tech geek. All was well until his best friend, who actually betrayed him, implanted him with all the intelligence from a super secret spy agency. His best friend, in case you missed it was a spy and now Chuck has all this stuff in his head and some people are trying to protect him and some are trying to kill him. And now I realize that I am completely off track because I really want to be a spy and I kind of hope I have a friend who is a spy who will stick really cool stuff in my head. Now THAT would be awesome.
But back the point. Chuck has a sister who has a boyfriend who is actually now her fiancé. Follow that? This boyfriend, Devon (who spells Devin with an "O" anyway?) is this super human doctor-explorer-triathlete dude with perfect hair and a crazy ripped body.....um, at least that's what the girls say. His nickname is Captain Awesome.
I liked it and wanted to adopt it as my own. I told my wife and a couple of our friends that I would like to be called Captain Awesome or just Awesome if Captain seemed too formal.

Still not entirely sure why it didn't stick.

Sometimes I am Awesome. Not the "super human doctor-explorer-triathlete dude with perfect hair and a crazy ripped body" part. I mean I haven't even been to medical school. But I do think there are times when I kick butt. Things just click. I am attentive to my wife and focused on my kids. I work hard and play hard and pretty much ooze awesomeness. (It suddenly occurs to me that humility has not been on my radar as criteria for being awesome. Probably need to look into that.)Not perfect mind you, but let me assure you, deep in me beats the heart of Captain Awesome.

But that is not the problem.

Sometimes I suck. I have also given that person a name, though not from Chuck. I call this person the BLOB. It usually stands for Boring Lazy Overeater Boy. See what I did there? Anyway, Blob is NOT awesome. At all. Probably can't even spell it. Couldn't find it if he fell in it. Wouldn't know it if it hit him in the face. Wouldn't...well you get the point. Not so good on the husband, father, work or play thing and pretty much ooze crap. I don't like Blob.

But that is not the problem.


I see too much of Blob in the world. Blob has moved in with pretty much everyone. I don't think anybody really likes Blob but somehow he has managed to slide his slimy self into every part of our life. He owns us. Ticks me off. I believe that everyone wants to be awesome. You know like "Awesome Rocks, I want to be that". But we settle for less.

We occasionally fake like we are going to change but in the end we give up and once again our awesomeness is hidden; and that is the problem.

Blob must go, or at least be subdued. I am on that quest. Join me if you want, but know this: There will be casualties. I am too serious to always be funny and too funny to always be serious. You have to be willing to buckle up and prepare for rants and laughs. Encouragement and butt kicks. I am quirky and cranky. I am focused and random. Some will hate me and some will like me…and some will do both depending on what I say. I want to make you laugh. I want to make you think. I want us all to be better.

Captain Awesome is coming...